Beautiful and dead

#DepressingDecember


-Then fuck it all

-I'd like to

-Do it then

-But I care too much

-We all do

-And soon we end up broken

-But if we didn't feel at all, would we stay humans?
-No, and that would be perfect.

-Wouldn't we become monsters, though?

-We all are anyway. I want to feel as much pain as is needed to kill me or no pain at all.

-Pain's so close to pleasure sometimes… it is still a feeling and any feeling is better than the emptiness when you feel nothing at all

-Yeah well, people kill themselves to feel as empty as possible.

-I believe it's the empty people who kill themselves before the emptiness does it for them

-I believe it will be my words that will kill me one day.

-Being killed by words is the most beautiful death I can imagine

-Die creative and drunk.

-With a cigarette between your lips

-And genius words on the paper below your beautiful arms.

-Those arms with old marks of suffering like paintings

-And the last cigarette you've smoked, the very last and the tastiest poison you've ever had. Stuck between your red painted lips. Your last kisser.

-The only one who never attempted to break your heart, yet slowly kept destroying you from inside

-How smart can this lover be.... Dangerous and well known, yet still so lovable.

-And the way he keeps kissing, you forget he'll kill you in the end

-And he is also so protective. He never lets other people love you because he wants all of you. Every little breath, every passionate kiss.

-And with every kiss a little bit more of him stays with you, the beautiful smoke that your soul slowly sinks in

-And with every cloud of this smoke, your eyes become more and more blind. And as blind you can see so much more.

-Yet one day you may realise that the world your blind eyes see is quite different from the world the rest knows

-We all know that world inside our head is not just great. It's also infinite. And infinite can't be seen with eyes. You need to see every part of never ending with different part of your broken heart.

Čosi z mojej a Adel Vjtušovej hlavy...

Ona je inak v poriadku

O sebe mám pochybnosti

Môj život je kombinácia ospravedlnení a následných činov, ktoré si žiadajú ďalšie ospravedlnenia... mrzí má, že ani sa to tu nerozbehlo a už to sadá prachom, na čomsi sa robí, ale kým to bude publikovateľné, to ešte potrvá

Ink Stains 2

Deux

Ink stains

I might post some pictures later, if I feel like it. I hate the fact that oft times I'm the only one to get them for they are too good not to be got. Anyways, I hate being adult. I mean, I love the fact I can go to shop and buy whatever I feel like (not wanting to sound like an alcoholic, but I like having fun and you need to live through something to be able to write about life). However, people expect shit from me and honestly, how stupid do you have to be to do that? Responsibility is not a concept I quite understand and neither is problem solving - adult style. Trust me, I am totally useless. That has not changed and most probably isn't going to either. Just the view of world has changed and how I hate that!
I think about writing two stories at once actually. After deciding to set the current one aside, I found a way to continue it. It was just a single sentence that crept into my mind after drawing the main character during the most boring i-don't-even-remember-what class ever. I like to write a sentence or two next to a drawing I'd finished. Usually it's better than the drawing itself (which doesn't speak highly of my drawing skills, considering it's just two or three words most times) and it gives the drawing an idea or point. I usually put the word on paper, not knowing where they came from. And after sketching a girl who smokes too much (I liked the details, though the proportions were slightly unbalanced) I found a few words next to her. It looks like I left the notebook in school though and I dare not  try to guess the though. I liked it too much for that.
And then there is the other story. Ink stains, it's going to be called. I've drawn its character as well, but there is no quote so far for I'd have to finish the drawing itself first. I am thinking about writing which ever I feel like writing at given time and posting both simultaneously. And both shall be in Eng. which I am sorry about, I do not feel confident about writing in the language, yet I write to work on my writing which I hope is going to be part of my future and the future one is most definitely not going to be written in Slovak so I do my best to learn to write in English. Some people take extra classes to prepare for their future, I do this, though I should work more. And I promise to try.

The day I was reminded

Odveci článok, ale  myšlienky, ktoré som potrebovala dostať na papier, lebo som proste potrebovala. Plus musím sa donútiť písať po anglicky!!!

A girl who smokes too much - Skeleton and soul