The worst feeling ever is when your parents ask you what university you want to go to and you've known the answer for ages; you know the school, you known the course you'd take... yet you say you have no idea or you tell them what they want to hear, because you know that if you told them the truth you'd be mocked. So you lie and smile and then slowly walk away to cry into your pillow. Call me a coward all you will, I couldn't care less. If you do, you have no idea what it feels like to be doubted all the time or to live with people who don't understand you a little bit... parents who take you for just an average kid and see your future so similar to theirs. Study something that will get you steady job, do that for the rest of your life, get married, have kids. Be no different from the rest of the world. That's what average people do. I am not average, and this is not even close to what I expect of my life. What I'm telling is not to show off, if anything, I deserve your pity for being of intelligence that is considered highly over average, because it is curse. It makes you want more than average life and sometimes that's not to be had. I don't want just to get through this life like many do, unnoticed... I want to be an artist. I want to create. I want to do something to make the world more interesting place, to make people smile and laugh and be happy...
I cannot do what is expected of me, I can't just get some useless Slovak school degree and do useless job that anyone could do. Yet you have no idea what it feels to do all and be prepared to do even more to gain what you desire most, to be able to sacrifice all for it, yet realise is not even close to being enough... and knowing that no matter what, you'll end up between those people you are not one of and you don't understand... and then you'll just wait until they slowly drain the life out of you... and than, hopefully, you'll die. Depressed, cigarette between your lips, the only one whose kiss you truly desired.

Oh, what a bright future awaits me...